Reasons
by SilverCrystal029
Summary: "I believe, no-", Summer began. "I know. Everything happens for a reason." Immediately Post: The Graduates.
1. The Graduates

Takes place right after the end of the Season 3 Finale: The Graduates

* * *

Seth kissed away splotchy tears on Summer's perfect face. Ryan and Marissa had ridden off into the proverbial sunset maybe an hour ago. In fact, Ryan was due back any minute and would ruin any more chances of alone time for the night. Seth moved a few stray mahogany strands of hair so he could see Summer's face better.

"There's no need to be sad. A year is gonna fly by while you're at Brown. And just think of all the cool stories Marissa will have. And a cool tan, all the feta too." Summer paused from crying to roll her eyes, batting playfully at her boyfriend.

"Ugh she's gonna have a bitching tan and I'm gonna be on the east coast! It's unfair, do you know how hot a suntan from Greece is gonna be for Marissa?" Seth planted another kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah, even when that girl looks bad she looks good. Her whole Volchek phase was basically a spread in Italian Vogue." Summer frowned, pulling away from Seth to eye him.

"Hey. Are you calling my best friend hot?"

"Oh come on, Summer. Marissa Cooper and hot are synonyms. She's almost as hot as..." he trailed off, planting passionate kisses in the crook of Summer's neck. She leaned into it with a half hearted smile but Seth stopped when he felt her body-language.

"I just can't believe it." She began. "A year ago I didn't really care about college, much less think I would end up enrolled in an Ivy League school. And it was a give in that Marissa would be going to some prestigious college, her family used to fund them through donations!" Seth nodded, placing a hand on his chin pensively.

"It is a little weird. Remember when Ryan was gonna work on a boat and it was Marissa who argued the value of academics. This is a cosmic force at work." Summer sat on Seth's comfortable bed, her face frozen in thought.

"That feels like such a long time ago. I guess we have been living, like, four lives in the span of one. With all the drama..." Seth snorted.

"Uh, Yeah. We have enough drama and angst to snag the 8pm FOX primetime teen soap slot. Everyone else is getting spray-tans and dating the coolest guy at their school and we've been trying to keep the fabric of our reality from tearing." Summer shrugged, picking up Seth's horse figure.

"I wonder what's taking them?" Seth wondered aloud, hitting his stereo remote and playing Deathcab quietly. Summer chuckled to herself.

"Ugh, didn't you see them today?"

"See what? What should I have seen, what did I miss seeing?"

"Um, the obvious? They're still in love. They're probably eloping!" Seth rolled his eyes.

"Oh. They always act like that. Marissa is still gonna go sail around the world and Ryan is still going to Berkeley. Although, for the sake of everyone else, I hope they are hashing it out and deciding if it is or if it isn't." Seth tossed a ball in the air.

"They're fate, Cohen. They're just an extremely angsty version of-"

"Us?" He filled in with a smirk. Summer nodded with a smile.

"Exactly. It's never if, for them. It's when. Just look how far we ended up from where we all thought? These are the perfect conditions for them to find themselves, and then find each other and get married! I'd bet on it." Summer explained matter-of-factory.

"Okay, President Of The Ryan and Marissa fan club."

"You don't think I'm right?" Seth saw the genuine anger flash in her eyes and proceeded cautiously.

"Of course I think you could be right. When it comes to them, though. I just want them to find a destination where they're happy. After everything... They both deserve it. Whether that means together, or if Marissa ends up moving permanently to Greece, or Ryan quits school and becomes a vigilante." Summer rolled her eyes again, shoving Seth with a pillow.

"Right."

"Hmm, do you think a spin off of Ryan post Atomic City days as a vigilante would sell? A La Batman..." he pulled Summer close with a smile.

"I'm thinking a prequel for The Ironist. About how he was a nerd and Little Miss Vixen wouldn't talk to him." Seth feigned sadness, clutching his chest.

"Ouch, Summer." She pounced on him, pinning him to his bed.

"It's been a crazy ride, but after the past three years. I believe, no- I know. Everything happens for a reason. And that means me with you," Summer pressed her pouty lips to Seth's. "And Ryan with Marissa."

Seth stared into Summer's eyes, lost for a moment. "God I love you." She bent down to continue kissing him when a staccato knock on the door interrupted them. She flew from Seth, fixing her lip gloss. Seth straightened his shirt out and turned in surprise when his father opened the door without confirmation.

"Dad-" Sandy was paler than he had ever seen his olive skinned, Jewish dad before. Seth sat up seriously, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Seth," Sandy started, his voice barely above a defeated whisper. "Hey Summer." He continued a bit like a stunned Eeyore.

"M-Mr. Cohen." Summer stuttered.

"Seth, can you come here please?" Sandy didn't wait for a response before doubling back into the house. Seth was standing immediately.

"Yeah Dad. Be right there..." he sent Summer a worried look.

"He didn't look so good, Seth." She began.

"You stay here I'm gonna go get my mom to look at him, she can probably identify what's wrong with a glance." He filed out of his room in a hurry, his father having silently filed downstairs already. He found him standing pensively in the kitchen.

"Dad, what's going on? Are you feeling okay?" He hadn't seen his father look so perturbed as when he realized his mother had terminal cancer, or that his wife was an alcoholic. He stared through Seth, clearly trying to find his words.

"Seth," his voice failed him and he tried again. "Seth. Something's happened-" Seth's heart rate rose. This was his father's death voice.

"Dad." He pleaded.

"Ryan and Marissa were in an accident. His Jeep was totaled."

"The car his mom saved up and bought him, Jesus Christ. Tell me he's okay. Did mom go to be with Marissa, I know she needs that right now. Uh, I'm gonna get Summer and we're gonna get right down there and be there for him." Seth began anxiously rambling, talking over what he feared might be the truth.

"Seth," Sandy blurted our like it was painful.

"Just be honest with me, I read medical books for fun you can't keep it from me. How bad off is Ryan, I can tell by how you're acting." He began, closing the distance between he and his father.

"Is it head trauma? Is he in a coma? A medically induced coma? Is he on any sort of assisted living machinery? Tell me! I can take it-"

"Seth, it's not-"

"Is Ryan dead? Is he already gone because that's what you're acting like. Even in a car wreck, with-with a totaled, exploded car I know there was no safer place for Marissa to be than with Ryan! So what is it! You have to tell me, he's my brother!"

"Seth!" Sandy choked on a sob. "It, it is not Ryan. He is still here, with us. But after what he's gone through... He may never be the same Ryan. The Ryan that we got to know, saw grow..." Seth thought for a few seconds of a fate so bad his father couldn't even speak it.

"Oh my god." Seth whispered. "Are... Are you telling me Marissa died, died while Ryan was there? After the accident?" Sandy opened his mouth to respond before he realized Summer was standing behind Seth. She dropped the bottle of water she had carried, prompting Seth to turn around.

"S-Summer..."

"I came to bring Mr. Cohen some water but you guys... Are... Um doing something so..." she turned and ran in the opposite direction.

"Summer, wait! Please, I didn't want you to find out like-"

"Oh my god you're telling me I'm right- Summer! Summer wait!"

He caught up to her standing outside the front door, her mind racing.

"Okay, clearly this is some crazy realistic dream, and I just need to-" She screamed as Seth embraced her, pushing away from his grasp.

"No way, nightmare Seth! This is all just a bad dream and-" Seth crushed his girlfriend to him, still in disbelief himself. Sandy stood behind them, unsure of what to do.

"Seth. Summer. I'm sorry. Kirsten said by the time help arrived she was already gone. There was nothing that anybody, not even Ryan could've done."

Summer looked up from Seth, in such shock tears hadn't even formed yet.

"Maybe it was just two people in a similar car who resemble Ryan and Marissa. Stranger things have happened and we shouldn't operate under a different assumption until there's proof!" Seth looked to his father helplessly.

"You tell Ryan that, not only is Marissa gone but whatever remained of his psyche. How did this happen, dad-"

"Your mother said someone deliberately tried to run the car off the road. Volchek... Was intoxicated. He, he rammed them into a ditch-"

"Oh my god, Summer. I can't even imagine what you're going through but if we don't get to the hospital we're gonna lose Ryan forever too." Seth began, tears flowing freely down his face.

"Dad he's gonna-"

"I know, Seth. Kirsten is with him but he's berely hanging on." Seth looked down at Summer, who wasn't really in any condition to go anywhere.

"Summer, take a deep breath and take my hand. And when you're ready we'll-"

"Maybe, uh. Maybe I should stay here. Don't want to overwhelm uh, Ryan and Marissa with the doctors poking at them. Maybe they'd feel better if I did." Seth nodded sympathetically.

"Seth, why don't I wait for them here with Summer and you go be there for Ryan. Summer, why don't you sit down in the pool house?"

Summer nodded dumbly and broke away from Seth, acting terrifyingly normal.

"D-Dad? She needs me. They both need me, I don't know what to do. I'm not even convinced Summer hasn't had a complete break from reality-"

"Grief wears many faces, Seth. Summer knows the crushing reality that Marissa is gone, but her way to cope... For now that's only acknowledging the possibility that Marissa IS fine. It's not as strange as it seems. You don't think about Summer Roberts without-"

"Marissa Cooper." Seth finished. "Dad what are we gonna do? How do we fix this? We can't..."

"The paralyzing reality is we can't do anything. Not a single thing." He placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "All we can do is be there. Go, help your mom with Ryan. I'll make sure Summer's okay. Don't be concerned that she can't really deal with going to the hospital. It's a natural and completely understandable reaction. Send Ryan my love for now."

He crushed his son to his chest, secretly terrified for him to go anywhere but his house. But his other son needed him. Now more than ever. He watched tearfully as Seth scrubbed his face and tried to think of what he would even do when he got there.

"I love you dad. Please, take care of Summer."

"I love you, my son. I'll see you soon. Get Ryan here ASAP." Seth nodded, knowing it was be like trying to drag a cat to the bath. He turned and forced himself to take footsteps toward his car.


	2. Seth

"Uh, Hey Summer. Hope this thing is recording all of my message! It's been several days since... Well, you know when. You are, infact, aware of the passage of time even though you're like, thousands of miles away so I actually can't be sure of that."

"...Things are, well, things here. I hope you're enjoying your time at Anna's. Here I thought you hated the east coast and seasons, but I can tell you're really busy so you must be having a great time! Please send Anna my love and thank her for me for letting you find refuge here."

"You, uh, wouldn't want to be cooped up long here. My parents get pretty anxious when I leave the house, so... I really don't. Sometimes I try to bring Mrs. Cooper some of our leftovers when my mom's tired. I, applied to a comic book store too (My dad went with me). I'm enrolling late in the year and... Summer's barely started so I gotta occupy my time since I don't really know how long you're gonna be gone.

"I want to get out and do things. I need to. But... The truth is, the reason my parents anxiety is so high is because they don't want to lose me too. It's been... Several days since Ryan turned on me like an almost domesticated wild animal. And there's that one time I sailed away, ha. I know you remember that. I don't want to stress my mom and trigger her drinking so it's just easier to... Yknow."

"I don't like admitting it to them but I am worried about Ryan. He... I never even imagined something could make him revert to... To like he was before we all met him. My dad is preaching time and space. My mom sits up and waits for him every night... He isn't even picking up our calls. But my dad says, with time he'll come around. I'm worried my dad hasn't gotten to know Ryan very well.

"I miss him. I miss you. I miss Marissa too. I dreamt up a great storyline for Atomic County. It was part origin story and the reveal that Cosmo Girl is the vessel for a, um, an item that protects our reality, Atomic County. Because without her here, Summer, our reality is falling apart. I-"

"I visit her a few times a week. Since you can't be here and (although I have suspicions Ryan has been by) it shouldn't be just Mrs. Cooper doing it. Yknow, I bet she'd love it if you were aroun-"

"Message recording image reached!"

Seth winced at the sharp tone and dejectedly hung up the phone. Marissa hadn't even been gone for two calendar weeks and the fall out was unbearable.

 _"Time." Sandy had preached. Pleaded. In Seth's opinion more than enough time had been spent watching Ryan spiral. He had been noticeably absent from Marissa's service. If Seth had learned anything about his brother it was that he was about to flee._

 _As far as Sandy and Kirsten were concerned, Ryan was as much one of their own as Seth was. But they were aware of Ryan's potentially volatile nature (especially under these circumstances) and that against it Seth stood no chance._

 _"I know you care, Seth. But we can't even imagine what Ryan is going through." Kirsten pleaded._

 _"Try to understand, son. Heaven forbid it was-"_

 _"Okay, first of all, don't even say what I think you're gonna say. If it was mom or Summer or you or Ryan I would fling myself off a mountain, Johnny style. Okay?" Both parents winced. "If we don't... If I don't do something, Marissa isn't gonna be the only person we lose forever. If he slips away he's not coming back."_

 _They knew he was right. But they were for once at a complete loss of what to do. Just standing in horror, watching the trainwreck unfold._

 _"Be careful. Tell him we love him." Kirsten said tearfully._

 _"And if he has to go, you have to let him go." Seth walked the agonizingly long walk from the main house to the pool house. He exhaled as he found the door open, catching an almost healed Ryan with a giant duffel bag over his shoulder._

 _"Hey," Seth began nervously. Ryan just stared, having spoken so few times lately he wasn't sure his voice worked. "Still trying to communicate via looks? Admirable, but uh don't quit your day job, you're not the most expressive lad." Ryan just stared._

 _"I'm leaving." Was all he said after a long moment, staring through Seth._

 _"You're gonna cheat on our pool house with somebody else's?" Ryan just stared, his face remained the same._

 _"Leave. Seth."_

 _"You know I can't do that." He inched forward._

 _"Now."_

 _"Ryan-" Ryan closed the gap between them, dangerously close to Seth._

 _"Leave before I hurt somebody else."_

 _"Ryan, listen to me. You never hurt Marissa-" Seth flinched, surprised he didn't piss himself when Ryan slammed his hand on the wall, right beside his head._

 _"Seth."_

 _"Do you really think I've ever been scared of you? And even if you do pummel me for being annoying and here for you, fine. It's not like I wasn't getting beat up bi-weekly before I met you. Whatever it takes... Marissa is gone. I'm not so sure Summer is coming back. You can't go too-"_

 _"I've left nothing but pain in my wake. Ever since I came here. Especially for-" Ryan smashed his fist into the wall instead of saying her name._

 _"I bet if she were here she wouldn't say that. I bet she'd say the opposite, actually. Ryan, you-"_

 _"I'm leaving. Do not follow me. You won't last 3 minutes where I'm going."_

 _"I've definitely been in Chino for at least 15 minutes before-" Ryan slammed his fist into the wall again._

 _"I MEAN IT." He screamed. "Unless you really want to drive me to suicide by cop. You really want to put the nail in my coffin-" he grabbed Seth's shirt and shook him for effect. "You follow me and get yourself killed too. If you want to help me-" He threw the smaller boy on the ground. "Just stay away from me. For good."_

 _"Ryan-" He didn't even look back as he stalked out of the poolhouse._


	3. Ryan

"Why don't you make that pad Thai, honey? It's kind of sexy..." Sandy purred, pulling his trim wife closer to him. She was glowing these days, he couldn't keep his hands away from her. Kirsten giggled and grabbed on to Sandy's large hand.

"Or... We could skip dinner and order out..." Sandy leaned in when her cellphone began to buzz and rattle on the kitchen island. She peaked at the screen and saw Ryan's contact. She kissed Sandy quickly and reached for the phone.

"One second, it's Ryan. Hello?"

"..." She was perturbed when she heard a silence on the other end.

"Hey, Ryan? Everything okay?"

"Kirsten..." he breathed, and then she could tell everything was not okay.

"Ryan? What's going on?"

 _"Mom."_ He croaked, struggling to speak.

"I'm here just tell me what's going on."

"Mom... It's-I... I need you to get Mrs. Cooper here. She can't drive. And... I need you to call Mr. Cooper-"

"Okay, where? I will but you have to tell me what's going on-"

"Kirsten? Everything okay?" Sandy frowned, rubbing Kirsten's shoulder.

"Its-Its, there was an accident. Volchok, Marissa's gone." Kirsten dropped her glass of ice water on the floor, effectively shattering it.

"Oh, honey." Sandy began, scrambling to mop up the mess. Kirsten barely noticed, her hand trembling in front of her mouth.

"I'll be there in ten minutes with Julie. Don't let them take you anywhere and do NOT talk with the police until I or your father gets there. Ryan?" She looked at Sandy with terrified eyes. "I love you. Be with you as soon as I can."

Sandy rose slowly, squeezing shards of glass a little too tight.

"Sandy... That guy from the beach. He ran Ryan and Marissa off the road. Totaled his car..."

"Oh my god, I'll make sure he pays for that upfront. Ryan hasn't even had it for a week!" Still, something worse had even happened based on his wife's face.

"Sandy... Marissa's gone. She died at the scene." She whispered, her hand clutching her chest.

"Dear god... Go. Go and be with Julie. I'll get Seth and Summer there..." He leaned on the counter, his mind racing. Sandy Cohen was good at a lot of things, but nothing like this.

Kirsten crushed the man to her in an embrace before she hurried out the door, wondering what she was gonna do or begin to say. Sandy stared at the shut door for a long while after.

* * *

Ryan hung up the phone dumbly and just stood in the waiting room. He kept wondering when a doctor would bring him some news about Marissa but then he remembered, the realization shredding his soul again.

He felt like he'd only just called Kirsten when Julie Cooper burst through the hospital doors, her hair a mess and her makeup running down her face.

"Ryan, I need Ryan Atwood?! There's some confusion about my daughter-" Her eyes rolled wildly in her head until they locked on the battered boy, Kirsten tailing helplessly behind her. When Julie dawn Ryan's condition she let out a ghoulish wail that turned everyone's head in the waiting room.

"Oh, Ryan-" Kirsten lamented when she saw the bruises and lacerations and smelled the gasoline on him. Julie rushed over to him and grabbed his arms, easing up when she saw him wince.

"Thank- Thank god. Thank goodness," Julie huffed, looking up into his steely eyes. "Kirsten heard there was an accident and she got some wrong information. I-I need to see Marissa can you take me to where she is? We've been a lot better lately I know she wants to see me right now."

Ryan just stared. He could barely tell Kirsten himself. He was sure she _tried_ to tell her, but she just couldn't take it. How could she? He looked down at the woman, for the first time seeing just how much Marissa looked like her. He opened his mouth but no sound came out,

"Ryan," she pressed. Kirsten gently tried to pull her back.

"Julie-" She wrenched away with ease.

"Ryan, where's my daughter?" His mouth hung open but he couldn't bring himself to speak. All the tears were bubbling up inside of him like a boiling pot of water.

"Ma-Mrs. Cooper..." He blinked and found his vision obscured by hot tears. He inhaled sharply, then again. Julie shook her head.

"No... No... It's not true. Why are you lying to me right now! Go to hell Ryan, go to hell you'll never see her again!" She shouted, hitting him in a barrage of punches. Kirsten began to wedge herself between them but she heard Ryan's voice.

"It's okay..." he whispered, tear after tear flowing down his face. Julie screamed as she pushed him, shoved, and slapped his broad chest. The truth was he could barely feel it. He couldn't feel anything except exactly what Julie Cooper was feeling.

Kirsten watched, as Julie gasped and slid to the ground. Ryan's battered arms were around her as they both lowered to the cold linoleum floor. Julie screeched. She bellowed. She let out an earth shattering wail.

"No, no, no! I want to see her! I want to see her! I can't! I want to die! I just want to die!" She sobbed into Ryan's chest, not caring the entire waiting room was watching, secretly hoping they were never her.

Kirsten just stood there and watched. Even though she felt useless she knew this was the only way to be there for either of them. She was relieved when Seth appeared, surprisingly alone. It felt like an eternity of watching Julie mourn.

Seth's lip trembled when he saw his mom but he fought his tears. Ryan really needed him to be strong right now. They ran into each other's arms without saying a word. Seth gently broke apart from his mother and found Julie Cooper laying in Ryan's arms, a vacant look in her eyes.

Ryan's stare was just as empty, but he was gently stroking Julie's arm. It was the only thing that kept her from shrieking. Without a word Seth took a seat on the ground beside Ryan and just stared off into space. He couldn't blame either of them for not being able to do much more, he would do it with them.

"Ryan..." Julie hiccuped, her voice hoarse. "Ryan." She repeated. "Ryan." Her voice rose in intensity: "RYAN." He squeezed her arm hard, praying she would just stop.

"Julie-" He whimpered.

"Ryan. Ryan. Ryan-"

Ryan shut his eyes and opened them. If ws dark now. He smelled gasoline and the smell of something burning.

"Ryan..." The voice was weak now. Quiet, pleading. Ryan's hands felt warm and sticky. He looked down. It wasn't Julie.

"Marissa?"

"Ryan. Don't." She all but sobbed, trying to crane her neck to look at the love of her life.

"I-I won't go." She swallowed and it seemed to take all of her remaining energy.

"Marissa, please-"

"Ryan. Ryan. Ryan!'"

Blootshot eyes snapped open. He wasn't at the hospital or near the airport with Marissa. He was crammed in the supply closet of the dirty, Chino bar he was hiding at. He knew Sandy, Kirsten, and Seth wouldn't come there. At least, not yet.

A scruffy guy in need of a shave busted in, his face red with the effort.

"Damn it, Ryan!" He barked. "We're about to lose this guy, get your ass out there!" Ryan scrubbed his face and stared wordlessly. Silent, he sat up in a sitting position. Taking that as a yes, his boss huffed and headed back through the door.

Ryan stared at the cardboard box that had Marissa's old belongings in it. With a groan, he kicked it farther under his bed and headed towards the door.


End file.
